Speaking with Respect: Motherese, Language Development, and the Montessori Approach
- Alto
- Oct 1
- 5 min read
The words we speak to young children shape their brains, their capacity for language, and ultimately their readiness for reading and writing. “Motherese” or infant-directed speech—a sing-song, slower, exaggerated way of speaking—supports infants in the first years. Yet, extended use of baby talk can limit growth. Montessori education offers a respectful, evolving alternative: precise, clear language aligned with the child’s development. This article explores the science behind motherese, the role of respectful language, Montessori’s perspective, and practical strategies for parents and child care educators.
Key Takeaways:
Use motherese in infancy, but transition after age two.
By age 3, many children understand/use ~1,000 words.
Reading aloud daily can add ~1.4 million more words by age 5.
Montessori encourages clarity, precision, and respect in language.
Conversations matter: rich, daily dialogue builds literacy and confidence.
What the Research and Theory Tell Us
What Is Motherese (Infant-Directed Speech)? Motherese—also known as infant-directed speech (IDS) or “parentese”—is a natural way adults instinctively alter speech to infants. Its features include higher pitch, slower tempo, simplified vocabulary, clear articulation, and frequent gestures and eye contact. Research indicates that infants attend more to IDS than adult-directed speech, making it a scaffold for early language learning (Fernald, 1985).
The Benefits of Motherese Under Age 2. Studies show that motherese boosts attention and engagement (Fernald, 1992), helps infants discriminate sounds (Kuhl et al., 1997), and promotes vocabulary growth when parents use it responsively (Ramirez-Esparza et al., 2014). Its emotional warmth strengthens bonds (Saint-Georges et al., 2013), while repetition and clarity build listening stamina. As Montessori observed in The Absorbent Mind: “Language is one of the most important things we can transmit to a child. The child absorbs the whole of it, not only words but also the style of language” (Montessori, 1949).
Language Milestones and Exposure Targets. By around age three, many children know approximately 1,000 words (Parenting Counts, 2013). The Ohio State University study estimates that children regularly read to accumulate about 1.4 million more words before kindergarten than those who are not read to (Logan et al., 2019). Hart & Risley (1995) described the “30-million-word gap” across socioeconomic groups, though later work (Sperry et al., 2018) has challenged the scale. Regardless of debate, the evidence consistently shows that richer early exposure strongly predicts later literacy.
Risks of Overusing Motherese Beyond Age 2. By the age of two, children are ready for more complex input. If parents and educators continue to rely on baby talk, children may encounter restricted vocabulary, simplified grammar, and fewer opportunities for comprehension practice. Prolonged use can risk infantilisation, subtly suggesting children are not yet capable of full communication. Montessori herself warned: “Respect all the reasonable forms of activity in which the child engages and try to understand them” (Montessori, 1936).
The Montessori Approach to Language
Dr. Maria Montessori stressed that early language exposure is critical, but equally important is respect in how we speak to children. Montessori saw language not only as a tool for communication, but as a central part of a child’s dignity and identity. For this reason, educators avoid baby talk and instead use precise, clear, and rich language that evolves with the child’s needs. This careful choice of words allows children to shift from absorbing language passively to expressing it clearly and purposefully. Language in Montessori education is always linked to real experiences, so that words have meaning and context. As she noted in The Child in the Family: “The child should be considered as an individual, having the same rights as the adult, and treated with the same courtesy and respect” (Montessori, 1929). Montessori also emphasised that language is part of the child’s total development: tone, pace, and attitude of the adult’s voice communicate respect just as much as vocabulary does.
Montessori in Practice at the Child Care Centre. In Montessori classrooms, educators narrate real actions in calm, precise sentences, and language is always purposeful. A child is shown vocabulary through the classic three-period lesson (“This is… Show me… What is this?”), which ensures clarity and reinforcement. Educators also carefully choose moments of silence, allowing children to process and respond at their own rhythm. Materials are introduced with precise words so that children can associate concepts with concrete experience—for example, naming geometric solids or types of leaves. Teachers treat children as conversation partners, listening attentively and encouraging them to articulate thoughts in full sentences. This environment helps children transition naturally from the simplicity of infant-directed speech to richer, confident self-expression, while also developing habits of listening, turn-taking, and mutual respect in dialogue.
Tips and Strategies - What can we do as parents at home?
Narrate Daily Life. Talk through routines and actions using full sentences:
“I’m folding the laundry. This is your red shirt. Would you like to help me put it away?”
This builds vocabulary tied to real experiences and helps children connect language with action.
Read Daily—Five Books a Day Goal. Reading aloud is one of the most powerful strategies. Aim for variety: stories, nonfiction, rhymes, and poetry. According to Logan et al. (2019), children regularly read to may hear up to 1.4 million more words before kindergarten compared with peers who are rarely read to. Even one book a day can add hundreds of thousands of words to a child’s language exposure.
Expand and Recast Children’s Speech. When a child says, “Dog run,” respond with:
“Yes, the dog is running very fast. He’s chasing the ball.”
This models grammar and vocabulary without correcting harshly.
Ask Open-Ended Questions. Move beyond yes/no to encourage deeper thought:
“What do you think will happen next?”
“Why do you think the cat climbed the tree?”
Allow Wait Time. After speaking, pause. Children need time to process language before responding. This builds patience, confidence, and listening skills.
Use Rich and Precise Vocabulary. Introduce specific, accurate words:
“This is a violin,” rather than “This is an instrument.”
Montessori emphasised that children thrive when surrounded by precise, meaningful language (Montessori, 1949).
Model Respectful Tone. Avoid exaggerated or patronising tones. Speak as you would to a respected guest—calm, clear, and warm. This demonstrates courtesy and builds the child’s sense of worth.
Troubleshooting Common Challenges:
Child resists listening → Use fewer words and model instead of over-explaining.
Child uses “baby talk” → Expand their phrases into fuller sentences without criticism.
Child uninterested in reading → Allow them to choose books, keep sessions short, and use dramatic intonation to engage interest.
Motherese is a powerful tool in infancy, supporting early attention, bonding, and listening skills. But respect requires adaptation. By age two, children benefit more from clear, precise, and authentic language. Montessori’s approach—reading daily, narrating with intention, modelling respectful speech—offers a path for parents and educators to help children meet milestones such as vocabularies near 1,000 words by age 3 and richer cumulative exposure by age 5, building confidence and lifelong literacy.
References
Fernald A. Four-month-old infants prefer to listen to motherese. Infant Behav Dev. 1985;8(2):181–95.
Fernald A. Human maternal vocalizations to infants as biologically relevant signals: An evolutionary perspective. In: Barkow J, Cosmides L, Tooby J, editors. The adapted mind. Oxford: Oxford University Press; 1992. p. 391–428.
Kuhl PK, Andruski JE, Chistovich IA, et al. Cross-language analysis of phonetic units in language addressed to infants. Science. 1997;277(5326):684–6.
Ramirez-Esparza N, Garcia-Sierra A, Kuhl PK. Look who’s talking: Speech style and social context in language input to infants are linked to concurrent and future speech development. Dev Sci. 2014;17(6):880–91.
Saint-Georges C, Chetouani M, Cassel RS, et al. Motherese in interaction: At the cross-road of emotion and cognition? PLoS One. 2013;8(10):e78103.
Montessori M. The absorbent mind. Oxford: Heinemann; 1949.
Montessori M. The child in the family. Chicago: Regnery; 1929.
Montessori M. The secret of childhood. New York: Longmans; 1936.
Hart B, Risley TR. Meaningful differences in the everyday experience of young American children. Baltimore: Paul H. Brookes; 1995.
Sperry DE, Sperry LL, Miller PJ. Reexamining the verbal environments of children from different socioeconomic backgrounds. Child Dev. 2018;90(4):1303–18.
Logan JA, Justice LM, Yumuş M, Chaparro-Moreno LJ. When children are not read to at home: The million word gap. J Dev Behav Pediatr. 2019;40(5):383–6.
Parenting Counts. Vocabulary consists of 1000 words: 32-39 months. Talaris Institute; 2013. Available from: https://www.parentingcounts.org/vocabulary-consists-of-1000-words-32-39-months/
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